SO, I'm lonely and frustrated in one aspect of my life - my marriage. For anyone who should read this, I'm sure you're wondering why I don't get out. I would, but how? I have no money, I don't have a secure job and the bills aren't getting paid. He has our HELOC to the top, the AM EX is overspent thanks to him not waiting to get certain parts of his care fixed and his trip to SF. Also, I know staying married is letting me get my kids the things in life that I want them to have.
This morning, I got bitched out for paying the bills - mainly the mortgage and AM EX. It's his pay check, he says, he should be the one to pay them. The abuse I take and the anger he directs at me, is amazing. and yet, to keep some reasonable level of peace around here, I'm the one who appologizes.
I now realize that I really don't have anyone to talk to. Yesterday, this BITCH, Tracy, called me, basically remove me from a goodwill project that I started to help this girl battling cancer. Truth it, Tracy's a neighbor who is feeling guilty that she hasn't done anything to help, so by taking my project and idea, she can feel good about herself. If she would have been nice and simply asked, I would have gladly stepped aside, but ordering me? Who in the Hell does she think she is ? (I KNOW she's a ball-breaking BITCH!) truth be, I have no weight in this matter and it's all about the girl...
I had a very nice looking man flirt with me last night. I guess I'm not as ugly as I'm made to feel around here. Oh, and the scale is going down again...
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