Single Parenting...

I might be married, but often, I feel like a single parent. I make lunches, make sure they have breakfast, sign permission slips and find lost library books and the like. I'm the one that tells them to clean their rooms, pick up their dirty clothes, do their homework and generally when to go to bed. I do most of the doctor/dentist appts. I do the grocery shopping and the errands, and lately when there's travel, I do all the practices and getting everyone where they need to be, when they need to be there, and generally on time. I call the teachers, and interact with the schools. I sign the planners and check the portal, and e-mail teachers when I need to.
Personally, I'd make a GREAT single parent - I get way more practice then I should...

Needing a place to talk...

SO, I'm lonely and frustrated in one aspect of my life - my marriage. For anyone who should read this, I'm sure you're wondering why I don't get out. I would, but how? I have no money, I don't have a secure job and the bills aren't getting paid. He has our HELOC to the top, the AM EX is overspent thanks to him not waiting to get certain parts of his care fixed and his trip to SF. Also, I know staying married is letting me get my kids the things in life that I want them to have.
This morning, I got bitched out for paying the bills - mainly the mortgage and AM EX. It's his pay check, he says, he should be the one to pay them. The abuse I take and the anger he directs at me, is amazing. and yet, to keep some reasonable level of peace around here, I'm the one who appologizes.
I now realize that I really don't have anyone to talk to. Yesterday, this BITCH, Tracy, called me, basically remove me from a goodwill project that I started to help this girl battling cancer. Truth it, Tracy's a neighbor who is feeling guilty that she hasn't done anything to help, so by taking my project and idea, she can feel good about herself. If she would have been nice and simply asked, I would have gladly stepped aside, but ordering me? Who in the Hell does she think she is ? (I KNOW she's a ball-breaking BITCH!) truth be, I have no weight in this matter and it's all about the girl...
I had a very nice looking man flirt with me last night. I guess I'm not as ugly as I'm made to feel around here. Oh, and the scale is going down again...

So lonely

OK, so it's the first official day of school here. I'm so bored and lonely that I could just SCREAM!!! I don't think you're fully aware of how much activity kids bring into a household until they're not around (and you have nothing you REALLY want to do!)
My day has been dull. DD's bus came at 7:54, DS's at 8:17. Crap, now what to do. When all else fails and you don't want to clean, go to Sam's club! OK, that killed until 10:20 (I would have been home sooner, but I was waiting for Sam's Liquor to open at 10 so I could buy Mike some beer- because i'm a GREAT wife!) Now unload the car - another 15 minutes killed (that could have gone faster, but I had to debate opening the Combos - I didn't!)
OK, plop down on the bed to watch some stupid movie on the Disney Channel (people's court and Maurey seemed really lame - do people really watch this stuff?) Next, decide that i'm hungry and that even though I'd kill anyone who ate in my room on my quilt, I grab a piece of pizza and soda. Spread blanket out on bed in case there's a spill. Wouldn't you know it, ice moved and I spilled the soda (good thing I thought about spreading out a blanket) So, now i'm starting a load of laundry.
It's a GOOD thing DD gets home in 2 hours...